tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55580432011-04-21T19:42:12.717-07:00Señor Wences Goes To TownThe misadventures of a man with a sombrero, purchased for $3 at the U.S./Mexico border, on the way back from a bender in Encenada, MX.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comBlogger1641100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1108679094035674942005-02-17T14:20:00.000-08:002005-02-17T14:24:54.036-08:00Things I've Read TodayKylie Minogue says that she considers Bio-Dome "her worst career move." I think that's really saying something considering that she's Kylie Minogue.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1094673388417029472004-09-08T13:53:00.000-07:002004-09-08T12:56:28.416-07:00Hey, You Said It
Clay Aiken: "Skinny, little dork."
G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1094592348085165962004-09-07T14:15:00.000-07:002004-09-07T14:25:48.086-07:00Richard Sandomir of the New York Times delivers a somewhat scathing review of a self-aggrandizing ESPN on the day after their 25th anniversary bash.
ESPN has been beating us over the head with this 25th anniversary nonsense for 4 months. While a 25th anniversary show may have seemed unlikely in 1980, who among us could have doubted that its tenure as the "Worldwide Leader In Sports" would wane G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1094219247878167652004-09-03T06:45:00.000-07:002004-09-03T06:47:27.880-07:00Proof That You Can Run Out of Interesting People
Everyone check me out on Gothamist.com. I'm their interview today!
G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1094058883488441792004-09-01T10:09:00.000-07:002004-09-01T10:15:52.873-07:00What's He Going To Tell Them?
When the President addresses NYC firefighters today, how will he explain that the funds that he didn't send to NYC after 9/11 resulted directly in the closing of 6 firehouses? How will he explain that the widows of their fallen brothers won't be receiving the money that they were promised because President Bush didn't send it along? How will he explain that NYC is G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1093612635760587902004-08-27T09:12:00.000-07:002004-08-27T06:17:15.760-07:00Missing The Point
To the ESPN.com editors:
Regarding Jason Whitlock's column of August 26, I'm surprised that ESPN's editorial staff saw fit to publish such bombastic tripe. Mr. Whitlock's assertion that people rooting against the U.S.A. basketball team is tantamount to racism proves once again, as do many of his "Sports Reporters" appearances, that Mr. Whitlock is looking for the pulse of G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1091813336655470682004-08-06T10:20:00.000-07:002004-08-06T10:28:56.656-07:00I Don't Even Have The Words
An outspoken racist has won the GOP primary for a Congressional seat in a Tennessee district.
From what I can gather in the article, he ran unopposed, save for a write-in candidate who was on National Guard duty when the deadline passed. He still got nearly 8,000 votes. I can't imagine all of these people went to the booth and just struck the lever for Republican G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1091721208794517322004-08-05T11:52:00.000-07:002004-08-05T08:53:28.793-07:00Señor? Is that you?
Actually, yes. It is me. I've having a hankering to write my silly nonsense lately. Y.P.R. is the fiction outlet. Why don't we give this a shot as the nonfiction outlet?
Recently, our friends "Dem Dems" met in the Third City (as a side note, can we really call Boston anything other than a Third City? Their inferiority complex makes Liza look stable.) Of course, by now I'm a G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1085067491576767392004-05-20T08:34:00.000-07:002004-05-20T08:38:11.576-07:00A Girl I'd Like To Bring Home To Mom
"So, the date with CT didn't go quite as planned. We got back to his place, me bombed on sake, and as soon as he started to take his clothes off, he puked all over the place, including on my third-favorite pair of open-toed red heels.
He apologized and offered to give me the full 12Gs if I'd just leave him with a Polaroid of my pooper. As I left his place G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1084913313600536612004-05-18T13:45:00.000-07:002004-05-18T13:48:33.600-07:00Boys Have A Penis; Girls Have A Vagina
A couple not having sex? It hits a little too close to home:
"'We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.'
The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1084894412493993362004-05-18T08:31:00.000-07:002004-05-18T08:33:32.493-07:00Thank God They've Come To Take Me Home
"Mexican Air Force pilots filmed 11 unidentified objects in the skies over southern Campeche state, a Defense Department spokesman confirmed Tuesday.
A videotape made widely available to the news media on Tuesday shows the bright objects, some sharp points of light and others like large headlights, moving rapidly in what appears to be a late-evening sky."
G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083678672158545372004-05-04T06:48:00.000-07:002004-05-04T06:53:55.000-07:00It's Good. Tastes A Little Like Chicken
"Australian carrier Qantas said Tuesday it has changed its lettuce supplier after a passenger on a flight from Melbourne to Wellington found a live frog in her greens."
I picture living in Australia like Crocodile Dundee. It's always like 100 degrees. Everyone is always sweaty and constantly battling wildlife for control of the continent. Also, frogsG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083179537533296842004-04-28T12:11:00.000-07:002004-04-28T12:15:22.873-07:00Nothing By Sergio Mendes?
I don't know who owns these albums, but I wish that I had his collection.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083178384963137102004-04-28T11:50:00.000-07:002004-04-28T11:56:29.000-07:00Yes, But Can They Create Their Own Thomas Friedman Moustache?
"When I was in [country in question] last [week/month/August], I was amazed by the [people's basic desire for a stable life/level of Westernization for such a closed society/variety of the local cuisine], and that tells me two things. It tells me that the citizens of [country in question] have no shortage of [courage/potential G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083175113051866792004-04-28T10:55:00.000-07:002004-04-28T11:01:37.700-07:00Indie Rock Gods
I know I'm probably like a year late on this, but has anyone heard this album by the Shins? Dear god, it's brilliant!
I shouldn't have expected anything less from Sub Pop, the label responsible for all of my good grunge memories.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083169558381276792004-04-28T09:21:00.000-07:002004-04-28T09:29:03.420-07:00I Guess We Finally Found A Crime The Catholic Church Won't Cover Up
"The Roman Catholic bishop of Toledo has suspended a priest charged in the 1980 killing of a nun, whose body was found covered by an altar cloth and surrounded by burning candles in a hospital chapel on Easter weekend.
The Rev. Gerald Robinson, 66, was arrested on Friday and charged with murder in the death of Sister Margaret G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083093829289595592004-04-27T12:23:00.000-07:002004-04-27T12:27:13.640-07:00We Could Go In Several Directions Here
"A German took his female neighbor to court for laughing too loudly. But she had the last laugh -- the judge threw out the case, saying Germany could not ban laughter, newspapers reported on Tuesday.
Unemployed Bernd F., 52, complained to magistrates that 47-year-old Barbara M. kept him awake with over four hours of loud laughter one evening as she G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1083092905949247182004-04-27T12:00:00.000-07:002004-04-27T12:13:14.186-07:00Wouldn't You Like An Oldsmobile?
"I can understand GM's business decision, but seeing Oldsmobile go is almost like a death of someone in the family," said Ken Nicholas, a longtime Olds enthusiast from Eaton Rapids.
Nicholas went on to say that even though he's not sure what his kids' names are, he hopes they will one day know the euphoria of slipping behind the wheel and the sleek comfort of G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082736672411396022004-04-23T09:08:00.000-07:002004-04-23T09:14:13.700-07:00Three Feet High And Rising ...
"Police said officers talked the men out of the three story high tree on Thursday night after the parks department had sent two cherry-pickers and firefighters had deployed an inflatable rescue mattress.
The couple, described by officials as a 32-year-old transsexual with female breasts wearing a purple thong and a 17-year-old boy in white boxer shorts, were G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082725505640164972004-04-23T06:00:00.000-07:002004-04-23T06:08:05.810-07:00Public Outcry?
'American Idol' Voting Strikes Sour Note
I don't even know who the fuck this chick is. I'm tired of "American Idol" getting all this fucking attention. As far as I'm concerned, the only worthwhile thing to come out of that show is William Hung. A whopping 9% of the country tunes into watch this show. I understand TV ratings (I'm in the business people) and that it's a large G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082665505039358342004-04-22T13:24:00.000-07:002004-04-22T13:28:22.593-07:00Honey, You Know I Don't Like Mexican
"'We saw the flesh and the tamales, and our first impression was that he was making tamales with the flesh of the deceased, although it has yet to be confirmed,' Lorena Cortes, a spokeswoman for Michoacan state prosecutors, said."
Tamale Chef Kills Friend, Cooks HimG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082645876111572202004-04-22T07:55:00.000-07:002004-04-22T08:00:55.436-07:00Jesus H. Christ
I knew Kirk Cameron was a crazy, lunatic, Bible-thumper. But this is one of the greatest, unintentionally funny things that I have ever seen.
Are you a good person?
I'm only wondering if Kirk has repented for the time that he took Carol's money to go meet his Hawaiian girlfriend in Los Angeles and lied to his parents about it by getting Boner to shovel the snow for him.
[LinkG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082581416627768162004-04-21T13:55:00.000-07:002004-04-21T14:06:37.250-07:00Soccer Is Not The Devil's Sport
Diego Maradona is in intensive care.
I don't know how many soccer fans are out there. It's a pretty marginal sport in this country after the age of about 12. I know a lot of people who equate it to Communism. Chuck Klosterman wrote a whole chapter about it in his book.
As a kid, I remember watching Maradona in the 1986 World Cup. I'll never forget his G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082558386392882852004-04-21T07:36:00.000-07:002004-04-21T07:42:44.140-07:00If Only He Didn't Get Hairstyle Pointers From Donald Trump
Koppel Says News, Entertainment A Dangerous Mix
Say what you want about Ted Koppel. He's got bad hair. He's too stiff. He's British. Whatever. He makes a very good point here. I'd be interested to read his full remarks. I guess it's only a matter of time before program promos are actually read by the "newscasters" a la any G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082556698360581922004-04-21T07:07:00.000-07:002004-04-21T07:14:36.483-07:00A Three-Hour Tour? A THREE-HOUR TOUR???
The good people at the Black Table were nice enough to publish a story of mine today. If you have a moment, please head over and take a look. While you're there, it wouldn't hurt to click around a little. They do very good work. If you're going to go, bring something nice. And for god's sake, comb your hair.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082488909923148952004-04-20T12:20:00.000-07:002004-04-20T12:26:57.716-07:00Now You're All In Big, Big Trouble
Dodgeballers Needed
I picture just one overgrown dude, pegging all the smaller people in the head. I have enough trouble dealing with my childhood through haunting, emotionally crippling memories. I don't need any physical pain to hammer my inadequacies home.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082483401002330822004-04-20T10:44:00.000-07:002004-04-20T10:52:57.746-07:00Is There A List of the 50 Worst Magazines?
Blender has a list of the 50 Worst Songs out. I can't find the article on their site (presumably it's either too new or too old) but Launch.com has a quick preview:
"According to Blender Magazine, "Don't Worry, Be Happy," and "Dancing on the Ceiling," may have been catchy tunes and big hits, but they still stink.
The music magazine is publishing its G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082471190848690842004-04-20T07:20:00.000-07:002004-04-20T07:29:27.780-07:00I've Got The Blues
This has to be one of the strangest sports stories since Calvin Murphy and his 14 kids:
Danton Accused of Murder Plot
"Law enforcement sources have told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that sports agent Dave Frost was the target of an alleged murder-for-hire plot arranged by his client, Blues forward Mike Danton.
The identity of the target has been a mystery since charges were G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-108239495036709532004-04-19T10:15:00.000-07:002004-04-19T10:18:46.543-07:00Holy Flurking Schnit
Kill Bill, Vol 2.
Unfuckingbelievable.
That is all.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082123434154619902004-04-16T06:49:00.000-07:002004-04-16T06:53:26.686-07:00Not Dead. Resting.
Is Jerry Garcia the white man's 2pac?G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082122662479074272004-04-16T06:27:00.000-07:002004-04-16T06:41:05.296-07:00Heroin Chic
"The network has obtained the rights to Charles Cross' 2001 book "Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain." Robert Munic ("They Call Me Sir") has been commissioned to write the script for the untitled film, which could get a primetime berth as early as next season. Cobain killed himself 10 years ago.
'The day Kurt Cobain died was the day the music died for a generation,' G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082042069320328972004-04-15T08:11:00.000-07:002004-04-15T08:17:54.873-07:00I'm Not Sure It's Chicken In America Either
OK, it's not what you think but I laughed pretty hard at the title.
KFC Not Chicken In Tibet
"KFC's plan to open one of its signature fried-chicken restaurants in Tibet as early as this year is likely to face resistance -- but not because it is American.
The unit of Louisville, Kentucky-based Yum Brands Inc. announced the move in January, making itG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082040704382570692004-04-15T07:50:00.000-07:002004-04-15T07:58:36.543-07:00How About Happy Ending?
"Coming soon to a McDonald's near you: Adult Happy Meals, featuring salad, bottled water, pedometer and a little bit of advice: Walk more.
The hamburger giant outlined plans Thursday to introduce the "Go Active!" meals for grown-ups at all 13,500 of its U.S. restaurants May 6 along with other steps designed to make its fare -- and its image -- more healthy."
I can't be G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1082035049591899412004-04-15T06:08:00.000-07:002004-04-15T06:20:21.610-07:00Wait, The Onion Is Fake?
At first, the Evening News stood by its story, demanding proof it wasn't true. It finally did apologize, but stubbornly tried to deflect blame for having been duped.
Onion Taken Seriously; Film At 11G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1081950897172120022004-04-14T06:46:00.000-07:002004-04-14T06:57:47.640-07:00Exactly What Are The Qualifications For This Award?
"Dolly Parton will receive "The Living Legend" award Wednesday from the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C., a spokeswoman for the entertainer said.
Parton, 58, will perform at the ceremony for a taped special that will air in May on the cable channel "Great American Country," publicist Kim Fowler said.
Selected by the library's curators G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1081904341800534292004-04-13T17:48:00.000-07:002004-04-13T18:01:52.466-07:00If You Have About Five Seconds ...
This is a fun little exercise.
Pick up the nearest book.
Open it to page 23.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
"She reached out with her slim bat and once again sent the ball slicing over the shortstop's head into left field." -- Michael Chabon, Summerland
Well, that wasn't nearly as coolG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1081885377976393082004-04-13T12:40:00.000-07:002004-04-13T12:45:47.843-07:00It's Funny Because It's True
"Carson Daly is receiving a TRL Lifetime Achievement Award. This moving ceremony will most likely consist of montage footage from Carson's career as a host (or "Vee-jay"), an appearance by Bob Ritchie/Kid Rock, and Daly sporting new nail polish and highlights to accept his idiotic award.
It's been a great run, Carson. Six goddamn years has been a lifetime, you G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1081868273331591222004-04-13T07:26:00.000-07:002004-04-13T12:50:15.046-07:00A Mullato, An Albino, A Mosquito, A Libido
Did anyone see "MTV and Spin Present: The Greatest Grunge Albums of All-Time" on M2 this weekend? If you did, you saw Ultragrrrl flash a homemade, puke-green, Kurt-Cobain-on-MTV-Unplugged sweater that she knit after the show. You also saw a very tidy little recap of three of the greatest musical years of my life.
Notable misplacements/snubs:
1. G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1081804795008214352004-04-12T14:14:00.000-07:002004-04-12T14:22:44.250-07:00It's Difficult To Call It A Redesign
Because my HTML skills are so poor, people all over Northern California are laughing into their Starbucks.
However, if you haven't noticed, some things are different around here:
- I've totally overhauled the layout of the place. We needed a change. I find the orange and beige not only soothing, but also a little Tex-Mex for your Señor Wences pleasure.
G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080926026967185422004-04-02T09:12:00.000-08:002004-04-02T09:17:31.623-08:00Well, He Is Irish
Legendary sports broadcaster Pat Summerall has been taken to a Florida hospital to await a liver transplant, a family spokesman said on Friday.
Can animatronic people get organ transplants?G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080923201048872422004-04-02T08:25:00.000-08:002004-04-02T08:30:44.093-08:00Actual Office Memo
I actually received this note in my inbox this morning:
"To all men on the NY Sales floors:
Building management has asked that a notice be sent out to all males on our floors asking to please stop placing tea bags and paper towels in the urinals in the men's rooms. This could result in damage to our plumbing system, please make use the trash cans.
Thank you."
Yes, teabagsG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080766086127278612004-03-31T12:47:00.000-08:002004-03-31T12:50:43.090-08:00Hello, Pot? This is Kettle. You're Black.
Ralph Nader has some campaign advice for Democrat John Kerry: Loosen up. The consumer advocate and independent presidential candidate said Kerry comes across as stiff and coached on the campaign trail. G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080147150446548772004-03-24T08:43:00.000-08:002004-03-24T08:55:00.840-08:00Please Leave Your Message After The Beep
All right, folks. I'm going away for a little while. The good Señor needs to recharge the batteries a little bit and he does this ont he golf course in Myrtle Beach. I'll be back on Tuesday with some excitment and some good stories. Also, we're going to add some stuff to the right column there. Some links, other things that we all should be reading.
G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080074112997951772004-03-23T12:34:00.000-08:002004-03-23T12:37:41.966-08:00Happy Birthday
The good Señor's hermana turns 25 today.
Happy birthday!G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080069894029301702004-03-23T11:22:00.000-08:002004-03-23T11:27:23.093-08:00My 15 Minutes: Just Starting or Almost Up?
Hooray for YPR!!! We're profiled in a column in tomorrow's Village Voice. PLease regard Cynthia Cotts' "Press Clips" here.
Thanks to the lovely Ms. Cotts for wasting ink on us.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1080061339763121952004-03-23T08:53:00.000-08:002004-03-23T11:29:52.780-08:00It's All About Your State of Mind
Gov. Bob Wise sent a letter to Abercrombie & Fitch on Monday demanding that the clothing retailer stop selling a T-shirt that spoofs the state with the slogan, "It's All Relative in West Virginia."
If it weren't at least a little true, this guy would be laughing his ass off just like the rest of us. Hey, Bob, shouldn't you be working on upping your state's G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079987395342927982004-03-22T12:28:00.000-08:002004-03-22T12:32:23.373-08:00The Final Frontier
I find this hard to believe. I mean, didn't these guys see Armageddon?
Worse comes to worst, saddle up Ben Affleck. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to take care of business.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079735026800845302004-03-19T14:19:00.000-08:002004-03-19T14:26:12.090-08:00Four More Years!
Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but it's expected the 41-year-old funnyman will see a raise over the his current estimated $1.5 million a year. His contract had been due to run out at the end of this year.
Stewart took over the anchor desk in January 1999 from original host Craig Kilborn, who had been with the program since it debuted in 1996 before leaving to host NBC'sG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079713834376193432004-03-19T08:27:00.000-08:002004-03-19T08:36:40.826-08:00Born Under A Bad Sign?
A 60-year-old man was struck by a slow-moving train as he walked home from work, and then a car slammed into the ambulance that was to take him to the hospital. The man escaped both accidents with minor injuries.
Donnie Mack Hall was treated at a hospital for cuts, bruises and a broken finger and released.
Officials said Hall, part of a work crew at Reliant Stadium, was G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079550433868310232004-03-17T11:02:00.000-08:002004-03-17T11:10:50.233-08:00What's That Daddy Panda Doing To That Mommy Panda?
Because Hua Mei has been in captivity since she was born, she has not had the chance to observe the natural course of panda reproduction in the wild. So officials have shown her videos of mating pandas and taken her to see other pandas copulating, according to the report.
The report said that similar sex education courses given to other pandas G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079550016348734672004-03-17T10:51:00.000-08:002004-03-17T11:02:39.746-08:00Erin Go Bragh
I tell by the liver of TMFTML that it's time for another day of reckless alcohol consumption (which I guess really isn't much of a schedule change over there). That's right folks. St. Patrick's Day is upon us yet again. And yet again, legions of people who have absolutely no connection to the Emerald Isle go out and get themselves royally ferschnickered. This is the one day of G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079447827892069332004-03-16T06:34:00.000-08:002004-03-16T06:39:29.576-08:00I Will Always Snort You
Grammy-winning pop singer Whitney Houston has entered a drug rehabilitation facility, her publicist said.
Houston "thanks everyone for their support and prayers," publicist Nancy Seltzer said in a statement Monday. She declined to offer any further details.
Houston, 40, admitted in a December 2002 television that she had abused drugs in the past, but told interviewer G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1079116677475124482004-03-12T10:36:00.000-08:002004-03-12T10:40:15.356-08:00Am I Really This Fucking Old?
10 years next month? 10 fucking years? If you can't get in touch with me, I'm on the ledge of my apartment building contemplating the plunge.
I don't think it's too much of a revelation that Kurt wanted out of Nirvana. But I refuse to believe that even he considered Courtney Love a "talent" of any kind.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078953237493049012004-03-10T13:12:00.000-08:002004-03-10T13:16:13.840-08:00Let Them Shoot Up In The On-Deck Circle
Is there a single more disgusting person involved in sports and their unions than Donald Fehr? Time after time over the last few years, this guy has caused irreparable harm to Major League Baseball, while he says that he's working under the guise that he loves the sport and is protecting his players' best interests.
Horseshit. If he was protecting his G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078949258899179522004-03-10T12:03:00.000-08:002004-03-10T12:09:55.263-08:00I'll Take My Change In $100,000s
A Georgia woman who tried to use a fake $1 million bill to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart was arrested, and police later found two more of the bills in her purse.
The U.S. Treasury does not make $1 million bills, but similar-looking currency is sold in some souvenir shops. The fake bill featured a picture of the Statue of Liberty, police said.
"It G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078848943279685462004-03-09T08:08:00.000-08:002004-03-09T08:18:38.996-08:00Florida: State or One Big Mini-Mall?
From time to time, I half-jokingly refer to the entire island of Manhattan as one big mall because you can walk down the street and really get anything you want. The only thing that's missing is that temperature-contolled climate, especially this time of year.
I just got back and I'm here to tell you that they've tunred the entire tract of land that usedG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078848443588663772004-03-09T07:41:00.000-08:002004-03-09T08:09:38.763-08:00Spalding Gray's Body Found
This is one of the saddest stories of the year.
"The body of actor and monologuist Spalding Gray has been recovered from New York's East River two months after he vanished.
Identification of the 62-year-old Gray was confirmed Monday through dental records and X-rays, according to the city's medical examiner. The cause of death is still under investigation."
Gray G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078520270535611572004-03-05T12:54:00.000-08:002004-03-05T13:00:01.250-08:00Also, Fucking Another Woman
Hawke Blames Marriage Break-Up on Ambition
He says, "It is very difficult for any couple who are married if both people are very ambitious." Hawke also admits that being famous has made the break-up extremely difficult. He adds, "While I'm sitting here my marriage is not working. Everybody knows it. You hate to have your grandfather read about it. That's what makes G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078504049272016542004-03-05T08:20:00.000-08:002004-03-05T08:29:40.200-08:00A New Amendment
George Saunders wonders how we can ban Same-Sex marriage, but not Samish-Sex marriage.
Like any sane person, I am against Same-Sex Marriage, and in favor of a constitutional amendment to ban it.
To tell the truth, I feel that, in the interest of moral rigor, it is necessary for us to go a step further, which is why I would like to propose a supplementary constitutional G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078499371659775902004-03-05T07:04:00.000-08:002004-03-05T07:11:42.780-08:00This Guy Is Still Alive?
Don McLean says songwriting takes an emotional toll on him.
"It's nerve-racking for me. I'm not a formula songwriter," McLean told AP Radio in an interview. His songs include "American Pie," "Castles in the Air" and "Vincent (Starry Starry Night)."
McLean went on to say that even though he hasn't written a goddamn thing worth listening to in 30 years, he's ready for a G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078430016090494682004-03-04T11:30:00.000-08:002004-03-04T11:56:01.903-08:00So, So Bored At Work
Well, I'm bored here. So in order to be more like two of my idols (Uncle Grambo and Matt Tobey), I present a list of the first 20 songs that this MusicMatch jukebox came up with today:
1. The Beatles - Rubber Soul: In My Life
2. Afghan Whigs - Gentlemen: Fountain and Fairfax
3. U2 - The Unforgettable Fire: MLK
4. John Mayer - Inside Wants Out: Your Body Is A G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078420029960368132004-03-04T09:04:00.000-08:002004-03-04T09:13:12.966-08:00Maybe He'll Call Himself 'Harold'
"Harry Potter may be set to grow up. Writer J.K. Rowling hinted Thursday that she may not stop at seven books about the adventures of the young wizard and may write a further installment featuring the adult Harry.
In a live Web chat to mark World Book Day, Rowling — who has always insisted she'll write only seven Potter books — was asked by a fan if she G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078419278652194352004-03-04T08:50:00.000-08:002004-03-04T08:57:32.246-08:00Ladies, Ladies, Ladies
As it turns out, women can write too. The Daily News runs down their list of the top ten female bloggers in the area. The Good Señor knows some of these folks and heartily encourages you to check out what they have to offer. As I've mentioned before, Maud Newton runs an exceptional site for lit news.
[Link courtesy: TMFTML]G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078411136509129932004-03-04T06:09:00.000-08:002004-03-04T06:41:09.623-08:00You Won't Be Needing This
I promised myself a few years ago that I wasn't going to let sports get to me anymore. The men who play these games for a living are overgrown, overpaid freaks of nature. Many of them angle for a competitive advantage by cheating. The men who run the sport are generally just as bad. They are men who either outbid all of the poorer teams for all of the good players G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078349492371914422004-03-03T13:08:00.000-08:002004-03-03T13:33:41.436-08:00Why Adam Corolla Must Be Destroyed
Everything that this man comes in contact with turns to shit. Jimmy Kimmel is probably the best example of this. Once well-known as "Jimmy the Sports Guy" from KROQ-LA's "Kevin and Bean Show," he began the search for the new Italian-American God when the Dodgers traded Mike Piazza. The guy was hilarious, the Jimmy Chitwood of morning radio. He couldn't missG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078329387458405122004-03-03T07:54:00.000-08:002004-03-03T07:58:36.780-08:00Maybe They'll Start Using Real Beef Also
McDonald's detailed the menu changes — quietly under way since January — in a seven-page memo to franchisees, obtained by The Associated Press. The elimination of the 7-ounce "Supersize" carton of fries is part of a switch from five size options down to three; the biggest will now be the 6-ounce "large" fries.
"The reason for reducing the number of fry G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078323016327090872004-03-03T06:07:00.000-08:002004-03-03T06:12:25.420-08:00I Feel Like I've Read This Before
"Later that night, Reid was reportedly so drunk, she had to be carried out by bouncers." (Story is at the bottom of the page when you click.)
Tara Reid? Drunk? Fighting with someone? Making a general ass out of herself? Are you sure?G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078322868859364402004-03-03T06:04:00.000-08:002004-03-03T06:09:57.983-08:00Letterman Still Rules Late Night
I don't care what anyone says. Last night, he spent a good 5 minutes mocking the movie "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights", getting reviews from the intern that he always features and Tony the cue card guy (who hadn't actually seen the movie). In the end, Tony walked off screaming at Dave in unintelligible Spanish. People may think he's goofy and has lost his edge.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078264216255346502004-03-02T13:44:00.000-08:002004-03-02T13:52:38.810-08:00Correction
My esteemed colleague, former Haypenny editor and current Matthew Tobey in the City of Floating Blogs proprietor, Matt Tobey has informed me that Marcia Gay Harden is actually pregnant, not fat.
Not only am I less informed than I thought, I'm also a really big dick.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078263695687292962004-03-02T13:16:00.000-08:002004-03-02T13:43:43.936-08:00Cincinnati Reds Owner Marge Schott Dead At Age 75
Perhaps now she can schedule that brunch with Hitler.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078255931957495332004-03-02T11:28:00.000-08:002004-03-02T11:36:34.466-08:00From the "Things That May Only Interest Me" file
From the voice recording on the Englewood Hospital phone system: "If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911 immediately."
This is like the choking sign you see in every restaurant that tells you to ask people that are choking if they are choking. Where did you go to school? The University of Duuuuuuuuh?G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078248427491409312004-03-02T08:55:00.000-08:002004-03-02T09:29:15.466-08:00Some Housekeeping
1) YPR's Writers on Writing Month has come to its stunning conclusion. We had some outstanding submissions this month. I urge eveveryone to go ahead and check it out if you haven't already. If you have, go back and relive the experience while you enjoy a tall glass of refreshing Sierra Mist!
2) My company has relocated to the newest symbol of man's hubris, the Time WarnerG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1078158024890072812004-03-01T07:56:00.000-08:002004-03-01T08:23:26.340-08:00It's A, Um, Wonderfulish Night For Oscar, I Guess
I hadn't watched the Academy Awards in like 5 years before last night. I immediately remembered why. On a separate note, is Tivo not the best invention of the last 20 years? The ability to fast forward straight through all of that nonsense made a 4 hour Oscar ceremony about an hour for me. It was brilliant. I didn't have to listen to any of G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077741050538688632004-02-25T12:28:00.000-08:002004-02-25T12:34:34.560-08:00Senator Kerry from Flipflop, Massachusetts
With interviews like this regarding gay marriage form the man who's probably going to run against Bush, I can't be pleased. I supported Edwards initially but, like many people, saw the electability and experience of John Kerry as one of his assets. His stance on this issue is deeply troubling.
Maybe I'm back to Edwards ...
[Link via WWKAD?]G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077739407942177152004-02-25T11:58:00.000-08:002004-02-25T12:05:30.343-08:00One Down, Two To Go
Glen Sather has stepped down from one of his three positions in the Rangers organization, handing coaching duties over to assistant Tom Renney for the remainder of the season.
"Glen Sather stepped down Wednesday as coach of the slumping New York Rangers, staying on as president and general manager of a team facing the prospect of missing the playoffs for the seventh G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077728363491507622004-02-25T08:44:00.005-08:002004-02-25T10:56:05.093-08:00Burning Questions
Is the Club Dread marketing onslaught really getting anyone who wasn't going to see the movie to begin with to go and see it? Are two old British guys sitting around:
"I say, Mortimer, those are some nice juggs."
"Yes, ripping good show, that. Let's purchase tickets."
I'll ask this one again: Is there something that I'm not getting about Drew Barrymore?
Does anyone else G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077638696731179832004-02-24T07:43:00.000-08:002004-02-26T12:00:42.390-08:00Well, This Isn't Scary
The Constitutional Restoration Act of 2004. All links courtesy: Left Pedal
We get comfortable here in the blue states because we're largely tolerant of the vagaries of others that inhabit our worlds. Sure, we may disagree with them. We may even be vocal about it sometimes. I've seen people get a little physical about it on the subway. But we always respect their G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077635133305649762004-02-24T07:01:00.000-08:002004-02-24T08:31:18.296-08:00I Go Blind. No, Seriously.
One week from today, Hootie and the Blowfish have a "Best of" album coming out. I know that somewhere, horns have sprouted from Darius Rucker's head and he's laughing feverishly like Jon Lovitz in an old Saturday Night Live sketch as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. That's the only explanation that I can come up with.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077590177848078782004-02-23T18:11:00.000-08:002004-02-24T08:36:29.013-08:00Jessa Crispin, proprietor of Bookslut**, has a pretty pointed post in her blog section today regarding blog snobs and their incestuous little community, spurred by this piece in Arts Journal.
"I dislike the blogging community, the in-jokes and the sly winking at one another. But Mr. Teachout declaring himself the police of blogging etiquette really pisses me off. He won't "name names", he'll G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077208708545446872004-02-19T08:32:00.000-08:002004-02-19T08:40:24.326-08:00Maybe I'm Like A Six-Year Old
The bench coach for the Chicago Cubs is named Dick Pole. His last name is Pole and he actually decided on Dick for a nickname. Not Rich or Rick or Ricky or Richie. Dick. I can't be the only one in America laughing at this.
"If you watch the guy, you're going to learn from him," said bench coach Dick Pole, who was the pitching coach in Maddux's first stint G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1077138465120154122004-02-18T13:05:00.000-08:002004-02-18T13:09:55.623-08:00Today's Onion
"Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades"
The Onion has struck gold this week. Sweet Jewish God, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1076624698115290352004-02-12T14:24:00.000-08:002004-02-12T14:26:47.293-08:00If Those Two Crazy Kids Can't Make It ...
"Barbie and Ken Breaking Up After 43 Years" -- Yahoo! News, February 12, 2004
It turns out that no "Hollywood" couple is immune to the break-up bug. Yes, that correct. Ken and Barbie are breaking up. I know. I know. It's very distressing but it does help a little to know that the two will "remain friends." I guess Barbie wants to fre eup her G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1076517089351223782004-02-11T08:11:00.001-08:002004-02-11T08:33:17.153-08:00Some Things
Does anyone else really want to see Dr. Octopus as Tevye in "Fiddler on the Roof?" It may just be me, but I think that Alfred Molina is one of the most underrated actors of our time. I love this guy in everything that he does, especially when he kicks the shit out of Mel Gibson in Maverick.
I went to the new Whole Foods in the just-opened Time Warner Center. It actually has a G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1076012713310376922004-02-05T10:26:00.000-08:002004-02-05T12:27:23.326-08:00Guilty Pleasures
There was an old Yahoo! commerical that had this Goth/metal rocker guy who was sewing in his room and his friends laughed at him when they caught him sewing. He went onto Yahoo! Groups and found some people like him and sure enough, 5 women were all sewing with him on a porch, gawking and longingly sighing at the sensitivity that they perceived in this guy. At the end of the G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075847169437343752004-02-03T14:26:00.000-08:002004-02-03T14:27:49.623-08:00I'm Tired and My Brain Hurts
Didja watch the game? Well? Didja?
The Patriots of New England took on the Panthers of Carolina. In the end, the Patriots triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a large H. It was a most ripping victory.
The city of Houston blows. And if you don't believe me, consult my Super Bowl Journal on YPR, where I wax poetically about the weekend IG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075483716783924792004-01-30T09:28:00.000-08:002004-01-30T09:30:12.733-08:00I Can't Believe I'm Saying This
The New York Post actually got one of my linguistic pet peeves correct. If you ask 100 random people what horses do to their bits, I would guess that at least 90 of them would say that they "chomp" them.
The headline at the top of the page on the back of the New York Post today says, "Pats and Pans Champing at Bit." I'm shocked beyond words. Of course, on G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075473545490608202004-01-30T06:39:00.000-08:002004-01-30T06:40:41.090-08:00Coffee, Regular?
Discussion had by me this morning:
Señor Wences: I'll have a coffee, regular.
Idiot Behind the Counter: Regular coffee. How do you take that?
SW: Um, regular.
IBtC: Right, regular coffee. Do you want cream, sugar, what?
SW: I want it regular. Don't you hear that all day long?
IBtC: Sure. Regular coffee ...
SW: No. Coffee, regular. Two cream, two sugar.
IBtC: Then G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075405559166159072004-01-29T11:45:00.000-08:002004-01-29T11:47:33.890-08:00A Moment of Silence
The man who invented the "Ctrl-Alt-Del" combo that people use is retiring from IBM.
Let's all look skyward and thank the big man upstairs that the guy who invented throwing your computer against a wall when it doesn't work is still hard at work perfecting his next invention, throwing the HDTV against the wall when it doesn't work.G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075326484049492632004-01-28T13:48:00.000-08:002004-01-28T13:51:16.746-08:00Back To Business
Now that that is over with. There is much to discuss.
1) George Pataki Sucks -- The Governor wants to add a $4 surcharge to all tickets sold for sporting events. Of course, wrestling, boxing and horseracing are exepmt because you can't put a surcharge on events that are fixed. Don't you people know anything? Instead, if I want to catch Binghamton play University of G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075323972091397862004-01-28T13:06:00.000-08:002004-01-28T13:07:46.403-08:00A Bird in the Hand
You hear a whole lot these days about so-called "moderate Republicans" or "neo-cons." They'll whine about how they would so desperately like to side with the Democrats like they did in the good old days. It was so much easier then, they'll wax nostalgically. I'd love to vote for a Democrat, they'll tell you, while they step on a homeless person or kick mud in the face of a G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1075143804661748412004-01-26T11:03:00.000-08:002004-01-26T11:08:43.373-08:00And By "Cold," I mean "A Real Weenie Shrinker"
Days Until the Super Bowl: 6
My flight to Houston leaves at 5:00 PM on Friday. I have never been to a Super Bowl. This is one of those things that I've kept in my "one day" folder, as in "One day, I'll go to the Super Bowl." I'd have preferred to see the Jets, but I'm pretty sure my grandkids aren't going to live that long, so I jumped at the G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1074800457145806282004-01-22T11:40:00.000-08:002004-01-22T11:42:25.106-08:00Wouldn't It Be Cool?
If Martians were responsible for this?G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1074610673915612852004-01-20T06:57:00.000-08:002004-01-20T06:59:19.310-08:00Three Day Weekend
Not only was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. a driving force in the civil rights movement and a man whose ideas and values we all could learn a thing or two from, his life was significant enough to merit a day off from the daily grind to take some time and reflect.
Honestly, the thing that I remember most about Martin Luther King day is from elementary school. Later on it just G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1074262974044161362004-01-16T06:22:00.000-08:002004-01-16T06:24:15.936-08:00I Thought This Country Was About Free Speech, Man
OK, expect nothing serious here. It's just that every time I hear the name Zappa, I think of Dana Carvey's impression of Frank Zappa and I start hysterically laughing.
I think I'm going to need a judges ruling on this one. Dweezil Zappa and Lisa Loeb are hosting a TV show on the Food Network? What? How on Earth did that happen? Are they G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1074179108929735422004-01-15T07:05:00.000-08:002004-01-15T07:06:30.123-08:00Snow Day?
It'd be a great day to have one. It's like -8 on the wind chill or something ridiculous like that. It's been snowing most of the night and the roads pretty much ice over as soon as they clear them. I, however, am here at the office and set to provide you with an update to cast some sun into your otherwise grim day. Who, but I, could provide you with the light and good humor G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1074096178925663462004-01-14T08:02:00.000-08:002004-01-14T08:04:19.200-08:00Some Stuff To Do
I don't know what everyone else has been doing in this freezing freaking cold weather we're having right now, but I've been trying to get through the backlog of reading I have. Fortunately, I buy books at a rate far faster than I read, so I'll be working on this stuff roughly 3 years after I'm dead. Between magazines, books and newspapers, I can barely fit in my 3-4 hours a G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1074014818605408222004-01-13T09:26:00.000-08:002004-01-13T09:28:17.606-08:00Nothing New
I wanted to post something up here. Let's see.
-- We all wish Doug the best at law school. He started last Monday and seems to be enjoying himself. I quote Legally Blonde: "Why do you want to go to law school? That's for boring, ugly people." I kid, I kid.
-- Do you kids watch "The Apprentice" program? You should, if only for the semi-periodic shots of Trump's girlfriend.
-G.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1073575035419275232004-01-08T07:17:00.000-08:002004-01-08T07:21:14.793-08:00Where Have You Gone, Señor?
Good readers, fear not! The good Señor is back from vacation and ready to dazzle you with his wit. If not his wit, his stories. And if not his stories, well, I got nothing else. So, be dazzled *shakes fist*.
First things first, I hope that everyone had a deliciously happy and safe New Year's celebration. There was a tremendous amount to celebrate, including thatG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1072198009379901442003-12-23T08:46:00.000-08:002003-12-23T08:49:20.606-08:00A Long December?
It's been a long December
And there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
Well, Wencesites, it has been a long December, has it not? There have been all kinds of big doings this month. The news has been chock full of interesting and fabulous stories. The good Señor has had a pretty good year and so have his amigos. I'm going to ignore the risk ofG.Wonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558043.post-1071844775356988102003-12-19T06:39:00.000-08:002003-12-19T06:44:08.733-08:00All Good Things Must End
Or is it Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge? King Phillip Climbed Over the Fence and Got Shot? The way I look at it, we have all these mnemonic devices floating around our collective consciousness and no one has the balls to use them. Thus, we've stumbled upon another reason to visit this fine purveyor of grade-A blog humor. Señor Wences: NATUAGMD! (Not Afraid To Use A G.Wonoreply@blogger.com